In His Arms

A friend of mine encouraged me to start blogging again.

Well ... Here I go ....

In His Arms
03.29.17
The past few months have not been easy.  I have been so wrapped up in my dads health.  Sad about the thought of loosing him.  One day I will, that's just the reality, but I am not ready.  What a relief to receive news yesterday that his cancer isn't as bad as they thought.  It is not in his bones and it is very treatable!  We aren't out of the woods but we are in a clearing and it is beautiful!

Even in the midst of my valley.  The darkness.  Uncertainty.  I was continually turning to God.  I had trouble 'feeling' Him.  Hearing.  Understanding.  But I knew that I needed to continue to turn to Him, lean on Him, talk to Him, and trust His plan what ever it may be.  It wasn't easy and there were days I was going through the motions.  But I felt it would be better to go through the motions rather than stop all together.

I am so glad I did!

Even though I felt like I wasn't hearing Him or understanding Him.  Now that I am in a clearing, I realize that I was hearing and understanding.  He is and was, in control, had it all figured out, and knew exactly where He wanted us to be and go.  I never lost sight of the fact that He wants us to plant a church.  I just didn't understand how that would work with my dad and cancer.  I see now that I was able to learn a lot and I know that these lessons will be applied later in my journey.  In many ways even.

Even in the valley I have learned to trust, lean, and walk with God.  Even if I feel like He's not there.  He IS there.  He literally was carrying me though!  There was one set of footprints.  And He was walking a straight path, while I was securely in His arms!

Hard Lessons ... AGAIN

The first two years of homeschooling with Jaxon where very hard.  First year, we are getting used to each other and how we work.  The second year I was working hard to adjust my {very structured} teaching/learning style into a more creative/active learning style for Jax. By the end of the year I was doing pretty well and we seemed to be in a groove!  

Then begins the third year.  Before school even started I found out I had Primary Hyperaldoseronism.  This began a journey of medications which made me feel ill and then meds that made me psychotic.  So, I fell back into {MY} ways of doing school.  {sad}

On December 9th I had surgery to remove the offending adrenal glad.  And after nearly two months of recovery and getting back on my feet.  I had to remember the hard learned lesson of year two.  Get creative again!  {Oyi}. I wish I could learn something once and get it and not have to relearn it again and again.  

So, today I began to embrace that creativity again.  I sent Jax on missions to find his assignments with clues.  Doing this turned an over an hour long lesson (in past experiences) into less then 30min to complete from start to finish!  And!  He did all of the reading and writing on his own!!!

It isn't easy for me - but it sure makes the day much better and Jax is happier! 

 

  

I am so thankful for the example of a patient, loving, and gentle Father to point me in the right direction parenting our kids! 

 

11 Years Well Lived!

*Marisa Haas Photography*

11 years ago, *June 1st*, I decided to commit the rest of my life with Jeremy Ketchum!  I can not believe it has been 11 years!  Time goes by entirely too fast!  It may have been 11 years, but I remember our wedding day as if it were yesterday! 

The first few years were our most difficult.  As happy as we were, our baggage was a heavy load!  I knew God had brought us together, and it was my belief in that which kept me moving forward with J. I am sure the feeling was mutual!  ;o) 

Today, I couldn’t be more happy with the man I married!  He isn’t the same person he was in 2002.  He has become more than I had ever dreamed of in a husband.  He has grown more patient, understanding, loving, and has shown me what a Christ-following man should be like; ever changing and being refined only as God can do. 

Thank you Jeremy for choosing me to spend the rest of your life with and leading us in  this adventure called life!!!  I love you!!!

Focus on the kids ...

... this is my task at hand.  

Being a stay at home mom isn't easy.  I have been a working mom before as well, and I would say that was much easier than staying home with them.  However, this is what I wanted to do, and feel God has for me.  

The past couple of weeks have been particularly challenging with moving and all.  And there is so much to be done, unpack, clean, arrange ... rearrange, not to mention the regular day to day things with a family of 7.  Food, diaper changes, potty stops, laundry, etc.  

I have been very stressed trying to get it all done.  My husband has told me on numerous occasions to just focus on the kids, cause that's what is important.  It has been hard, because I want to have everything done.  

But today, I have changed my perspective.  I am going to focus on the kids.  As I have done this, I have found that everything else is falling into place.  Granted I don't have everything done, and some things are waiting.  But the stress level is less and the kids are happier.  

Squeaky 3

I know Jax isn't three yet but it's just around the corner.

A few weeks ago we noticed that Jax had a very squeaky & cracking voice. I thought it was so cute. This lasted until today. When I realized his voice sounds different!

I didn't know that my young man would go through a voice change at such a young age. I expect it from Josh at 12 years old but not a two year old Jaxon. ;-)

That's it. I thought I'd share! Thanks for reading!

God's Will

I knew I'd be moving out of CA one day. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I'd be leaving all that I ever knew, family and friends. And I'm a pretty socialable person. Relationships are important to me.

When God showed us it was time to move to Williams AZ I was excited and scared. Excited to be in His will but scared to start all over.

It sure hasn't been an easy move on any of us. However we all know that we are in the middle of His will and He has us where He wants us. We can not see the whole picture but we trust He can.

I am thankful for the seeds He has planted. The lessons we have learned so far have been priceless. I have learned how to be more dependent on God. To trust Him and His planning over my own. Things I don't think I could have learned while comfortably living in CA. Our kids have learned how to be stronger Christians. To stand up for what they believe in and not give up on that.

These 'seeds' will continue to be watered and I'm excited to see what they will grow into. And I know that they are necessities to a firm foundation.

I am so thankful God meets me where I am and accepts me right now. And even as painful as it can be, I am thankful that He loves me so much. So much in fact that He won't leave me where I am. He wants to grow me, challenge me, and draw me closer to Him.

God's will isn't always comfortable or easy but it is always a learning experience!

Blessings!

Butterfly Wings

Back in April I took Jaxon to a Story/Craft time at our local coffee shop.  It was one of his favorite books, The Very Hungry Caterpillar.  He had so much fun!  He flew around in his wings for days after that!  


I also thought it would be a good submission for the 'Fly' contest through Epiphanie.  ;o)

My "fly" photo submission in the Epiphanie Camera Bags + My Four Hens photo contest!http://bit.ly/junephotocontest

Overcoming Evil in Parenting

Romans 12:21 says:
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

I read this while having a particularly hard time as a patent. Lack of sleep and a growing 2 year old while caring for a (almost) three month old makes for a challenging combo.

I wanted to give up on being a mom. I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. Then I felt even worse because I love being a mom and I know I'm blessed to be able to stay home with my kids.

I wondered how I could 'overcome this evil in parenting with good'. How could I be a 'good' parent through all of my fatigue and overcome?

I realized that I had become very short tempered with Jax and telling him 'no' a lot.

I thought I would try it. After all God's word isn't wrong is it.

No more yelling at Jax. No more saying 'no' to everything. And offer other options to him when he can't have what he really wants. And when he needed to go on a time out I would do it calmly and explain things to him. It's amazing how much children really understand!

So through lots of praying to keep calm. Asking God to be my strength in my weakness. And a little determination. After just half a day of doing this things got easier.

I was amazed!

I would love to say that I'm not tired any more but that would be a lie. But! Jax's attitude changed and he became easier to handle.

I love how we can apply Gods word in and to every area in our lives. We just need to be willing and open to it.

Blessings!

Adjusting

It has been an interesting couple of weeks in our home! To start off, we had our baby, McKenzie on March 12th. She came by way of c-section. My mom came on the 9th to help out and prepare some meals for us. So thankful for all of that!!!

I came home from the hospital on the 14th. Then on the 16th ended up in ER due to a spinal headache. The absolute worst pain I have ever been in ... ever! And I have birth two babies naturally, with no medication! I didn't want to get the blood patch to 'fix' the spinal headache because I have an intense fear of needles. My 'prescription' was lots of caffeine, water, and laying down. Thankfully all of that has worked! It took about four days. My kids and husband have been AMAZING. Pulling all of the 'mom-duties' weight, including taking care of Jax.

I'm still not 100%. But the spinal headache is gone. I can deal with the rest of the pain in my abdomen. ;o)

The thing that has been the hardest on me is dealing with Jax. His whole world has been turned upside down. He loves his little sister so much and is so kind to her, holding her, giving her kisses, and being ever so gentle when around her and I. He understands so much and is being so careful when he is around us as to not hurt us. ;o) He is excited about being a big brother and is filling the role nicely.

However, we have had several bouts of fit throwing and screaming. It is so hard for me to deal with his fits, because one, I don't like fits, two, I can't pick him up, three, I have so little energy to deal with it. As, I was getting after him to stop his fit throwing, I realized that I don't treat Kenzie that way. I talk calmly to her and gently. Jax sees this. I am sure it doesn't make any sense to him why mommy would yell at him and not at is new baby sister. I had to catch myself and calm down and talk to him in a cool manner. It didn't help right away, but I am sure in the long run it will make a difference. ;o)

I do all I can to spend time with Jax and remind him how wonderful he is and important he is to me. I do this when he is calm and no longer throwing fits. I've had to let him 'get it out' on his own in his room, but once he is done, we come together and visit.

Cutting this one short - and to an abrupt end - because McKenzie is asking for food! ;o)

Thanks for reading!

Parenting has its rewards

As much as this is a 'Monday' for me ... and as much as Jax wears me out - there are moments that are just priceless and make up for all of the hard work!

This afternoon at lunch he asked me to read him a 'pretend' book. So, I opened up my hands and we read two stories. The first one was about a 'lot of people' (Jax picked the topic ;o)) They went on many adventures and we discovered at the end that they were a family. The second book we read, again picked by Jax, was about a horse. This horse also went on many adventures and enjoyed smelling the pink flowers! ;o)

Once I was done reading to him, he decided to read himself. He would start with "Once upon a time ... " And he made up his own story. His was about a princess who loved to play games and take naps. ;o) However, his princess wasn't just in his story. She came with us to clean up his toys and then laid down to take a nap. He even asked me to give her hugs & kisses and cover her up with her blanket!

It's moments like these that bring me back into the reality of why I am a stay at home mom and why I do what I do. I've been so extremely tired these past couple of weeks and Jax has really been trying my patients. But I was reminded today of how important investing into our children really is! :D

Imagination

Today during lunch Jaxon took me for a drive. ;o) Here's a short story of our adventures!

Me: "Where are you taking me today Jaxon?"

Jax: "We going to Gamma Debbie's house."

We played games with Grandma Debbie, told her that we love her, and continued on with more games. He loves to play games at Grandma Debbie's house!

Then he got us back into the car again. I asked him again, "Where are we going this time?"

He reply's, "To Neese's wedding."

Me: "Oh what fun!"

Jax: "Uncle Sean be there?"

Me: "Yes, of course Uncle Sean will be at Neese's wedding!"

Jax: "I see Uncle Sean. I love Uncle Sean."

Jax: "Now we go my wedding!"

I was a little surprised at this last comment. I would expect it from my daughter, but never thought I would hear it from my son. Not to mention - my mind went into the future and I am just not ready for that one yet!!! LOL Never-the-less, we went to his wedding.

Jax: "I wear my suit."

Me: "Great! I love your suit! Who are you going to marry?"

Jax: "Grandma Debbie"

I half expected him to say "Mommy", but this brought a smile to my face! :D

Remember, we are sitting at the table eating lunch when we did all of this. Our 'car' was his sandwich. He would take bites of it and set it up on end and have us 'get in' and he would drive us away. When he would take another bite, it would say we have a different car! ;o)

We ended up at my wedding with daddy. Daddy and I got married and Jax and Grandma Debbie got married.

With his last bite our car was gone and so ended our little adventure!

It sure can be refreshing to join a toddler in their world of imagination and creativity. Escaping from 'reality' for a short time. Remembering that sometimes life really can be that simple and enjoyable. Thank God for children and the lessons we can learn from them!!! And here we thought we were the teachers! ;o)

Blessings to you!

What are your desires?

Psalm 37:4 (NIV)

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

The first time I read this I thought to myself, "Cool! If I am happy in Him, then I'll get everything I want!"

Then sometime later, I realized that isn't what this verse is telling me. If I would delight myself in the Lord, focus on Him and make Him the purpose/reason I do everything, then His desires will become my desires. If my desires are His, then blessings will abound.

I don't believe God will give me all that I want. Mostly because He is the Father, and knows what is best. Sometimes the things I want are not the things I need. As a parent I have come to understand this more and more.

But, I do believe that if I trust in Him and place my entire life into His hands, then He will grant me the desires of my heart. And they won't be selfish desires (most of the time) because they will be His.

I hope that makes sense!

God has the very best planned for each one of us. We only need to trust in Him and His timing and be still knowing that He is God and He will reign!

Blessings to you!!!

What is in a Name

Psalm 20:7 reads:
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

I love how it is in the Name of the Lord we have trust. We carry so much by our names. Our names identify us.

God's name is Faithfulness, Grace, Mercy, Provider, Lover, and many, many more. He has given us no reason to not believe and trust in His name. When He says He is going to do something He does it.

I love that I can trust in His Name and lean on Him through the good times and the bad!

What is His Name to you?

What Motivates You?

This morning my devotional was titled "Motivation". And the question was "What compels you to follow Christ in obedience?" I thought this was a very good question. We can be motivated by fear, pride, guilt, and many other things.

I had to really think about this. I can't sum it up in one word though. Most of my life I have been one to 'follow the rules'. Now of course there have been exceptions ... I am only human! ;o) But, for the most part, I don't like to break rules because I don't want to pay the consequences. I would rather stay on the path, where it is 'safe'.

As many of you may know though, following Christ isn't always easy - it's always safe - but it can be very painful from time to time. It's during these times that I reach out for God's truth and grab on to it with all that I've got. It may not always be easy, bright, and full of fun, but God's path is always the right one and there is always blessings in and/or through it.

I choose to follow Christ because I know that He is faithful. He never lets go and He is always there for me. I am motivated to follow Him, I suppose by fear. Not the fearful fear, but the respectful fear. Knowing that God is God, and He is forever FAITHFUL!!! He has our best in mind.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

What motivates you?

A Peek Inside

So, we had our 21 week ultrasound today. I simply love to peek inside the womb and catch a glimpse of the new life!

She was such a mover and making it so difficult on the tech to look around. It was fun to watch!

Here is a picture of her profile. She looks so much liked Jaxon did at this time. The only difference I can see right now is her chin and bottom lip. Ooooo ... I can't wait to see her in the flesh!!! :D :D : D

Just before this picture we caught site of her 'flipping us off'. LOL Then she did the 'Peace' sign ... nice recovery!!! LOL

So, the doctor said that all looks great. She is very healthy. He is only slightly concerned with her kidney's. He said that they were slightly enlarged. This could be as simple as the the 'valve' that goes from the kidney's to the bladder may not be fully developed yet. So, her urine is getting a bit backed up. He wants to see me back at 28-30 weeks to check on them again. We are praying for shrunken kidneys. However, he says that he isn't overly concerned with it, because there is a lot of amniotic fluid, and this is a good sign. The good thing ... I get to see my baby again!!!

Thanks for reading!

Blessings!!!

My Baking Buddy

Jaxon really loves to be in the middle of what ever is going on. He always wants to be with someone and helping them in some way.

He helps clean the mirrors, do laundry, dishes, and I think his favorite is helping cooking or baking.

Here, he wanted to help me so bad, but I was working a

t the stove and there really wasn't anything he could 'help' with. So, I gave him these items, and he had a great time.

Another day I was making some biscuits, and of course there were many ways he could assist me here! As you can see he was hard at work. He like tasting the dough as well. Not sure how it was, but he kept coming back for more! And don't fret, the dough he was making didn't make it into the batch. The piece of dough he was working with however, became a nice little biscuit which he enjoyed at dinner!

Thanks for taking the time to read!

Blessings to you!

Another Change

Well, I have decided to venture into the potty training phase of Jaxon's life. We are on day two and he is doing real well. I put a diaper on him at nap/bed time and when we go out.

Yesterday he came running to me from the living room yelling, "Mommy! Spilled!" I asked him what he spilled, he said "Pee-pee. Leaked." I laughed and asked him to take me to it so I could clean it up. Thankfully he peed on the wood floor and not the carpet! ;o)

So far for nap/bed time he stays dry and when we go out. But our outings have been so short. I'm not really looking forward to a trip into Flagstaff! LOL I have to admit. I didn't really want to venture into this quite yet, because changing diapers is so much easier than running to a public restroom or cleaning up an accident! But ... here we are. Besides, it'll be nice to have him out of diapers before our baby arrives! ;o)

Thanks for reading!

Blessings!

Gummy Bears

I don't understand it at all. But Jax has this fascination with Gummy Bears. A few weeks ago we bought some and he enjoyed eating them ... of course. But now it has become one of his favorite phrases. You can ask him a question, and often times the answer is 'Gummy Bears'.

Yesterday we were outside kicking the soccer ball around on our porch. Then he stopped, looked through the railing and started shouting, "Gummy Bears!!! Come back!!!" I couldn't help but laugh. Then I asked him what they were doing, "Running away." he says. I asked him what color they were, "Geen", he reply's.

So, for the next several minuets we ran back and forth asking the Gummy Bears to please come back. It was so fun & funny!!!

Blessings!

Proud Parents

Tonight was Open House at the girls' high school. I was looking forward to going for a few reasons. One, I like to go to these kinds of things. Two, being a new school for us, I wanted to check out the campus and the teachers. Three, it's a good opportunity to 'hear' from the teachers.

All I have to say is, I am so proud of our girls! I know this hasn't been the easiest transition for them, and they are having to make all new friends. But, it sounds like they are doing an amazing job. Every teacher we talked to enjoys having them in their class and says that they bring a lot to the classroom. They are passing every single one of their classes. And in some of them they are going above and beyond and are at the top of the class!

Sorry to be going on about them, but like I said, I am so proud of them.

Thanks for listening to me brag! ;o)

Blessings!

Pretend

This afternoon Jax was pretending with his zebra stuffed animal.

He put it on his Mater car to give him a ride. The zebra fell off and he repeatedly said, "So sorry!". It was so sweet!

Then he wanted Zebra to join him for lunch. So, we put him up on the table on a place mat, and Jax shared his cutie with the Zebra. He would also talk to him a little bit, basically one word conversations, but it was so cute!!!!

Blessings!!!